sixty-three days pre-wife

I tested my love languages today because you know…marriage.

You’ve heard about the five love languages right? I grew up listening to my parents, my pastors, my friends mentioning them. By the time I hit my first relationship, I was pretty well clued up on the ways of how two people in love function side by side.

To recap, we have the following:

Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

I distinctly remember the first time I lectured Corey about love languages. We’d been dating about two weeks and were driving home from a lunch. He’d rolled his eyes and laughed at me, saying, “stop making it so technical, just relax!”
I’d been miffed at the time, but to his credit, Corey has always had the most stunningly apt ability to know when to remind people to relax. Maybe it’s why he works so well with me, this egotistical, emotionally-fused, passionate enormity of a woman.

Years later, I’ve revisited the guidebook, almost totally assured of what my languages are, as well as Corey’s. I was always – always – convinced that my languages were Physical Touch and Quality Time, but somehow, amidst falling in love with a man who displays those same funnels of affection, my own tastes have changed.

I redid the test because it’s been a few years. I know – thought I knew – exactly what my result would be. I’m an Acts of Service girl. Not because I expect people do grovel at my feet and complete tasks for me, but because I like to get things done. Productivity pleases me, and really, is that not what a relationship is about?
Apparently not. In fact, I didn’t think my needs were so narcissistic prior to doing the test. Evidently, getting someone to take time doing your needs, for your benefit alone, and then slapping an affectionate label on it, is not love. Who knew.

Turns out, surprisingly, Acts of Service ranked second on my list. High, because yes, if you take away my excessive need to achieve, it seems I do, at the root of my personality, enjoy to maintain an orderly life, with the help of a loved one. My first ranked, was Words of Affirmation, and hey ho what a surprise.
I was told repetitively growing up, that words were how I both gave and received affection. I denied it. I just loved words. I adored to write. I relished in birthday cards and small notes. It didn’t mean I loved only using words, it just meant I was a writer.
Again: who knew. We tend to express love in the ways we are most gifted.

Now pray for me, because I want Corey to do the test himself, and sitting that man down to do any form of paperwork is a mission inside itself.

Link below, if anyone is interested in testing themselves (takes 5 minutes):

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/

 

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